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| Girl with Cosmos |
Why I Could Die Happy Today
In
the Summer of 1998*, I had the opportunity to go live with my mother’s oldest
sister’s family in Texas and work at my uncle’s company in the office. This was
a very welcome gift, as I was somewhat lost as a young adult—having started
college, yet struggled and resorted to working instead. I had never lived away
from home, yet this felt do-able because I would still be with family.
I
was so grateful to Aunt Ginny for having me live in her home for a year and a
half or so, I wanted to do something special for her. It’s been so long, I don’t
really know how it came about—if I had started the cross stitch piece and my
aunt commented on it, or if I purchased it specifically for her. Whatever the
case, the cross stitch was to be the gift I chose to say THANK YOU.
And
so it was that I had great hopes once I left Texas in the Fall of 1999* to
quickly complete her gift and deliver it.
Hopes
only go so far.
I
have contemplated recently that it might be part of my personality or some kind
of other disorder, yet the main concept is that I start things and have trouble
finishing them. I’m pretty sure it was a miracle I finished a college degree.
With that weakness, it has been a burdensome existence to have many things
around me unfinished. Until now.
Honestly,
I don’t know what has made the biggest difference—the medication, or my ability
at last to prioritize more effectively and actually DO things rather than just
THINK about them. Ultimately, I must give much of the credit to the miraculous
effect of the Atonement of my Savior, Jesus Christ. Since the time I truly
humbled myself and admitted I couldn’t change and be better on my own and
relied on the Lord, I have been quite a better version of myself.
Now
as to why my life is like this cross stitch I finally completed.
First,
the words of a children’s song:
My
life is a gift; my life has a plan.
My
life has a purpose; in Heaven it began.
My
choice was to come to this lovely home on earth
And
seek for God’s light to direct me from birth.
I
will follow God’s plan for me,
Holding
fast to his word and his love.
I
will work, and I will pray;
I
will always walk in his way.
Then
I will be happy on earth
And
in my home above.
So
if you’ve never done any kind of counted cross stitch thing, it comes with a
pattern and a ‘plan’ (if you will) as to how to go about sewing it. I did my
best to follow the plan, yet there were places where I miscounted the stitches
and things got off a little. I don’t believe I messed up enough to have to pick
out the stitches and start over, yet the overall picture is certainly not
perfect. In fact, there are LOTs of mistakes. I didn’t even bother taking a pic
of the sample picture because I didn’t want to show what was left out or
different. J However—and you can make your
own judgment—I think it turned out rather nice. You can tell there was effort
and care, even if it did take a long time to complete because it was neglected
for various lengths of time. You can tell what the picture is supposed to be,
and it looks pretty good. The mistakes aren’t really noticeable unless you’re a
cross stitch expert or have the plans
and examine how it matches up or doesn’t.
Thus
is my life. I have desires to complete it in a pleasing way, yet I know I’ve
made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes—and possibly some things will
be left out. Yet I know that because of the Savior, my life will still be
beautiful and meaningful and I can offer it as a pleasing gift to my Heavenly
Father when my time is done. My cross stitch could never adequately express all
the thanks I feel to my aunt and all she has done for me—just as any good I
could ever do would never adequately match the priceless gifts God has given to
me. Yet what I can offer is sufficient, and will be accepted.
I
know I have much more to learn and do here on earth, yet I could die happy
today because I finally completed something important that I started.
*It's been so long, I didn't even have the years right at first. :)-
*It's been so long, I didn't even have the years right at first. :)-
